finished edits on Two Tickets for a Christmas Ball. Working on chapter two of Dragons of the Watch
Writing Tips: If used in moderation, "seemed to" can be used in first person. But avoid using it because it is really telling.
He seemed dislike the flavor of the pudding.
vs
He put a big spoonful of Granny's bread pudding in his mouth. His eyes popped, his mouth screwed into a funny-looking twist, and tears flowed down his cheeks. Someone should have told him about the jalapenos.
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Mrs. Paul is a fantasy author and grandma. 
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This cracked me up. It reminded me of the time when my son was three and popped an entire ball of wasabe into his mouth. The face you described is exactly what we saw. Followed by a HUGE scream (convenient for reaching in to pull the wasabe ball back out), and then two sweet Japanese waitresses wordlessly rushing him off to get a lollipop.
ReplyDeleteJust had to tell the story :).
Haha! Vivid and amusing trumps insipid every time!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the time my brother accidentally ate wasabe...
Thanks for the tips!
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