Monday, April 26, 2010

More "seemed to"

finished edits on Two Tickets for a Christmas Ball. Working on chapter two of Dragons of the Watch

Writing Tips: If used in moderation, "seemed to" can be used in first person. But avoid using it because it is really telling.
He seemed dislike the flavor of the pudding.


He put a big spoonful of Granny's bread pudding in his mouth. His eyes popped, his mouth screwed into a funny-looking twist, and tears flowed down his cheeks. Someone should have told him about the jalapenos.


  1. This cracked me up. It reminded me of the time when my son was three and popped an entire ball of wasabe into his mouth. The face you described is exactly what we saw. Followed by a HUGE scream (convenient for reaching in to pull the wasabe ball back out), and then two sweet Japanese waitresses wordlessly rushing him off to get a lollipop.

    Just had to tell the story :).

  2. Haha! Vivid and amusing trumps insipid every time!
    Reminds me of the time my brother accidentally ate wasabe...