Friday, September 25, 2009

Too Much

Finished Chapter 19; 34,534 words

Writing tip: I wrote a sentence and then looked at it with my editor eye. I began trimming.

Her tight muscles complained as she followed Rayn’s directions to slowly stretch each set to loosen them.

It was just too long, saying more than was needed. First of all, why say "to loosen them"? I already said they were tight muscles so it is pretty apparent the stretching was done to loosen them. I have pretty intelligent readers. Authors should respect the brain power of their audience.

Do I have to say "each set"? Nah. How many of you quickly stretch? I didn't hear anyone say, "Me, me!" So slowly gets deleted.

Now the sentences says,

Her tight muscles complained as she followed Rayn's directions to stretch.


  1. Wow, what a nice surprise. Mangy Cat played with my blog's look and it looks wonderful.

  2. I do the same thing when I write, except for some reason I try to find just the right word to describe it... little do I realize how much time has gone by... far too long.