Saturday, September 26, 2009

Word Choice

Starting Chapter 20; 35,657 words
Writing Tip:
Word choice is so important. A few changes make a world of difference.

The setting sun reflected off the smooth surface, making the water look pink.
"making . . . look" just doesn't have any ambiance connected with it.

The setting sun reflected off the smooth surface, tingeing the water an unreasonable pink.
By changing making to tingeing, I also got rid of the look. It also reminded me that Bealomondore is an artist. He thinks more poetically than another might.

I played with an adjective for pink. Unbelievable? Salmon? Impossible? Sunset? Brilliant? I finally settled on unreasonable, but I wouldn't doubt that my crit partners may make me change it.

PS This comment is being inserted after the original post. The crit partners approved of unreasonable pink.


  1. Hi!
    I just discovered your blog and it looks awesome!
    Thanks for posting your adventures with writing on here. I look forward to reading more.

    You seem to cut out the same words I do: "that" and "like" sometimes just don't cut it.

  2. I like the change using "unreasonable." It also speaks a lot into Belomondore's character.

    This is a great tip. One of my favorite writing quotes is related: "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug." -- Mark Twain