The $365 Writing Tip

finished editing Chapter One of Dragons of the Watch. Plowing into Ch 2

Writing Tip: Some time ago, I went to a writers conference. It was a good writing conference, but honestly only one thing stood out as something new and startling in the realm of improving my craft. So I call this tip my $365 writing tip. That was the price of the conference.

We were going through a critique, and the instructor noticed a grammar error on one of the submissions. The sentence was something like this:

She ran through the underbrush avoiding the thickest tangle of vines that would trip her.

That sentence needs a comma. Where? Look for the first -ing word.

avoiding

What does the phrase beginning with avoiding modify? As it stands, avoiding modifies underbrush. Now here comes the $365 writing tip. I hope you have two thumbs, because you need them. Taking your thumbs and placing the left thumb before underbrush and the right thumb after avoiding, read what is in between. Between your two tumbs is "underbrush avoiding." Does it make sense? No. So you have to put a comma there. The comma signals the reader to apply this modifying phrase to a noun further back in the sentence, usually the subject. The sentence makes sense if "She" is the one "avoiding."

New sentence:

She saw him struggle to hold on with the rope slipping through his hands.

One thumb in front of rope and the other behind slipping.

rope slipping

Does the author really mean to say the rope is slipping through his hands? Yes! no comma!
If the words are meant to go together then don't separate them with a comma.

He ran into the station hoping to find one more person to help rescue the boy.

Thumbs in place?
Is the station hoping, or the subject "He" hoping? Building and hoping don't go together so separate them with a comma.

Several years later this thumb trick is the only thing I remember clearly about what I learned. I don't often forget the comma when it is needed, and I rarely put it in when the comma is not needed. I still think the writing tip was overpriced.

More "seemed to"

finished edits on Two Tickets for a Christmas Ball. Working on chapter two of Dragons of the Watch


Writing Tips: If used in moderation, "seemed to" can be used in first person. But avoid using it because it is really telling.
He seemed dislike the flavor of the pudding.

vs

He put a big spoonful of Granny's bread pudding in his mouth. His eyes popped, his mouth screwed into a funny-looking twist, and tears flowed down his cheeks. Someone should have told him about the jalapenos.

Started to . . . Really?

Still working on edits for Two Tickets to a Christmas Ball.

Writing tips: started to, began to, seemed to are all over used.
With started to and began to, you are implying that the action will be stopped.
He started to wash the car, but a a cloudburst put a stop to that.
If the action is not going to be interrupted then use the subject and the past tense of the verb.
He washed the car. The day was sunny and perfect.

Example: He began to explain why he was late, but his date shut the door in his face.
He explained why he was late and his date understood his dilemma.

Seemed to. Really? He seemed to grow in appreciation of the arts.
Well, did he, or didn't he?

She seemed to understand what had held him up.
Did she, or didn't she?

He seemed to be listening to her theory about microbionic soil, but then he poured his coffee into a bush.
The last one is acceptable, but don't pour your leftover coffee on plants. It will seem to kill them and they will begin to rot.

Edits!

Just as I got started on Dragons of the Watch, I got the edits for Two Tickets to a Christmas Ball and Dragons of the Valley back from the editor. That means you go line by line and approve or disapprove of changes made. (Usually the changes are minor like caps and punctuation.) and there are some places where you actually re-write a paragraph or sentence for clarity. I always know what I mean, but sometimes the reader doesn't.

Writing tip: Avoid there is, there was, there were at the beginning of a sentence in your narrative. You can let them ride in dialogue, because people talk like that. But outside of dialogue, using there+to be verb is lazy writing.

Most often this blunder occurs in description:

There was a flowerpot teetering on the windowsill .

A flowerpot teetered on the windowsill.

There was a curl dangling over one ear.

A curl dangled over one ear.

There was an old sofa in the room, centered against the opposite wall.

Centered against the opposite wall, a sofa squatted as if it had been mashed into the floor by a hundred elephants.

The Beginning of a Novel

finished chapter one; 1,806 word count

Writing Tip: I feel good. I finished the first chapter. I've introduced one of my main characters and her sidekick. I've established her "normal" world. I've indicated her immediate desire. And I've plopped in the inciting incident.
I probably should go back and put in a little more description of the characters.
I feel like saying check, check, check, check, and oops. But the oops doesn't bother me much. It's fixable. And now, NOW, I am excited about this adventure.

Goats

The new book, Dragons of the Watch, has a goat in it. So how much do I know about goats. On a scale of one to ten, a low three. So I went to the Internet and read. Then I went to You Tube and watched goats. My next plan is to find the teen I know who raises pygmy goats and see if I can visit. I love this kind of research.

On to the next book

This next book is Dragons of the Watch. I've started, but I only have around 500 words written.
I have to praise my crit group for keeping me from embarrassing myself. In the first few page they read, they called my attention to two names I'd chosen. In my ignorance, I didn't realize one was a euphemism of a cuss word and the other was slang for a sexual term. Oh dear, I am truly a sheltered grandma.