Description

"Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader - not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon."
E.L. Doctorow (American author, with a long list of awards and accomplishments)

This is one of my favorite quotes about description.  When the author uses more than just the sense of sight to describe a setting the problem of the reader being on the outside looking in disappears.

Transition

finished Chapter 32!: 66,730 word count

Writing Tip: transition.
Effie has been under the barrage of several conflicting emotions as she talks to Old One. Quite suddenly she wants to change the subject and she says:
"Is Orli better this morning?"
But the shift is too sudden. The reader might get whiplash. So, I put an action tag before the dialog line.

Fleeing the emotions that confused her, she sought another subject. “Is Orli better this morning?”

Naming Characters

This is a great place to find names:

http://www.funpetnames.com/cool-pet-names.html

-ing

finished chapter 28; 58,543 word count

Writing Tip: a string of words ending in -ing really messes with the rhythm of a sentence. I even try not to have two in a row.
Example from today's writing:
"Are you proposing organizing the little band?"
Rewrite:
"Are you proposing to organize the little band?"

Writing Tools

Finished chapter 23, 47,714 word count


Writing Tip: I use YWriter5. You can get a free download from spacejock.com.
Here are some of the features as listed on the website:
"Organise your novel using a 'project'.
Add chapters to the project.
Add scenes, characters, items and locations.
Display the word count for every file in the project, along with a total.
Saves a log file every day, showing words per file and the total. (Tracks your progress)
Saves automatic backups at user-specified intervals.
Allows multiple scenes within chapters
Viewpoint character, goal, conflict and outcome fields for each scene.
Multiple characters per scene.
Storyboard view, a visual layout of your work.
Re-order scenes within chapters.
Drag and drop of chapters, scenes, characters, items and locations.
Automatic chapter renumbering. "
The reason it is so valuable to me is my many weird names need a central place of registry, so when I'm writing chapter 23, I can go back a find out how to spell that thingymajiggy I mentioned in chapter 3. Today I couldn't remember the name of a village. I am so glad I did't have to look through pages of manuscript.

Do you have a program you use? How about sharing what it is and why you like it?

Checking Facts

finished ch 18; 35,545 word count



Writing Tip: In today's chapter, one of the characters fell on a sharp object. I had the poor thing suffering from a severed artery. After some consideration, I realized that wouldn't do. She'd bleed out before I could get her help. And severed is a pretty strong word, implying completely cut through. So I deleted and changed it to nicked an artery. Still very bloody, but fixable with what the other character had at his disposal.
Think through the consequences of injuries and make the scenario from start to finish plausible.

Hurrray!

Finished chapter 17; 33,391 word count
Writers Tip: Celebrate! Writing can be lonesome, discouraging, frustrating, and non-profitable, to name just a few of the negatives that authors put up with. It is important to celebrate, enjoy each turn of phrase that is particularly appropos. Celebrate the end of a chapter. Some days you may have to celebrate the end of a paragraph. Celebrate when you character displays amazing insight, fortitude, intelliect, or discernment. Celebrate rejection letters that are from a real person, not just a copied check list that indicates your work does not fit their current needs.

Today I am celebrating being one-third done. I passed the 33,333 word in chapter 17.

Hurray!

Loooooooong sentences!

Finished CH. 16; 31,375 word count



Writing Tip: I have a rule of thumb. If a sentence spills over to three lines of manuscript, it is too long. (I use Courier New because I can read it comfortably. For those who use Times New Roman, which is all scrunched up, you would have to make that all of two lines.)
From today's chapter:

Bealomondore and Efficinderpart poured over the journals the next morning, while they waited for Laddin to come back with news of a house that might supply their daggart-making needs.

The fix is almost too simple and requires one less word a period and a capital, not at all arduous labor:
Bealomondore and Efficinderpart poured over the journals the next morning. They waited for Laddin to come back with news of a house that might supply their daggart-making needs.

One of the things I'm fond of is having my manuscript read aloud so I can hear it. Those long sentences require readers with great lung power. Even when read silently those whopping long sentences tax the brain. Most readers read to relax. So be easy on those who pick up your book and chop the behemoth wordage into easy chunks to conquer.

Lay, Lie

Finished 15; 29,218 word count.

Writing Tip: I had this sentence in my chapter.
“If he’s going to go to sleep, he has to lay down. Make him lay down.”
There was a green squiggly under the first lay, so I changed it to lie, and my computer was happy. Then I came to the second lay and saw no green squiggly. What's the difference? I confess that lie and lay, set and sit challenge me. I finally got a hold of set and sit, but lie and lay? Oh brother, can I rewrite the sentence so I'm not using either?
Here are two sites that help with this kind of problem: English Plus
and Grammar Girl, Quick and Dirty Tips
English Plus says: Lay is something you do to something else. It is a transitive verb. My characters are going to make him lay down, so I guess that qualifie. Although I might argue that it is the verb make that is transitive. In the long run, I don't know for sure, and that makes me very grateful for copy editors who understand this sort of thing.

PS The consensus of my writing friends is that the second lay should be lie as well.

Repetition, good or bad?

finished 14, which was a really fun chapter; 27,346 word count

Writing Tip: In this chapter I had one character echo what was said by another character in a previous chapter. In the first, Bealomondore asked, "Do you know what I would like to do?" In this chapter, Efficinderpart asks the same exact question. Why does this work? These two characters are becoming friends. The repetition of the question establishes that they are beginning to feel a connection, they can banter, one recognizes the other will see this as an "inside" joke.

Repetition of a preposition idea:
The book landed flat and poofed the old flour up into the air.
Not good.

Repetition of a word:
He crouched as he approached the door. Effie also stooped as came to the door. Tak and Airon stayed at the back door and kept their eyes on the alley. Bealomondore manipulated the large dead bolt.

He crouched as he approached the door. Effie also stooped as she joined him. Tak and Airon stayed at the back and kept their eyes on the alley. Bealomondore manipulated the large dead bolt.

It, that, them, and so on

finished Chapter 13; 24,810 word count

Writing Tip: Avoid indiscriminate pronouns. These are place holders for better nouns most of the time. This principle should be used in the same way that the admonition not to use -ly words is used. In other words, know the rule, follow it mostly, but don't go quackers trying to avoid them.
Example from today's writing:
“Every minor dragon collects information from the people around them. They collect songs as well as musical history. You might have heard the other verses, and they were buried in your brain. In that case, she dug them out. Or she recognized something she had learned somewhere else and remembered it.”

“Every minor dragon collects information from the people around them. Singing dragons collect songs as well as musical history. You might have heard the other verses, and the lyrics were buried in your brain. In that case, she dug the words out. Or she recognized something she had learned somewhere else and mined the information she had stored.”

A Promise

Finished 12 and started 13; 22,937 word count

Writing Tip: I dropped a figurative time bomb on the reader. Bealomondore is talking to Effie:

" . . . And Lady Peg gave me a word to describe liars who mean no harm.”
“Liars that mean no harm?”
“When you meet Lady Peg, you will understand. She has a very unique perception of the world.”

Now that is an intriguing comment, meant to arouse the reader's curiosity. But the conversation goes off on a tangent (an important tangent. Never wasite dialog on the inane.) Several pages later, the riddle is explained. The original tease was a promise to the reader. I, as the author, have made a non-verbal agreement to answer the questions that the teaser raised in the reader's mind. If I do not fulfil the promise, then I have broken something precious between author and reader. If this happens often, the reader will not be interested in the next book. She has learned that reading my work results in a multitude of minor irritations. Who wants to spend time with someone who constantly disappoints.

Typos

Finished 11; 21,153 word count

Writing Tip: My particular goof ups saw the light of day in today's writing. The thing with typos is that each writer has his/her own list of frequent foul-ups. Mine are our for out, and for an, and of for off or off for of. And you know spell checker doesn't catch that kind of error. But if you know your particular foibles, you are more likely to catch them on the re-read. And if you read a scene several days later, you are even more likely to see them.

Action Tags

finished Ch. 7; 12,875 word count

Writing Tip: We use action tags to give rhythm to dialogue. The tags can slow the rhythm or speed it up. In the original writing, I used asked and said, which are almost invisible to the reader. The brain registers the word and the meaning, but doesn't conjure up an image like another word, say, "hollyhocks." (he said, she said, he asked, she asked are called dialog tags or attributions)

Effie asked, “Is it safe?”
“Yes, they’ve gone for noonmeal," said Bealomondore. "Hand me the goat."

But when the author wants the reader to visualize, some cues are needed. These cues or action tags also help creat the pace and rhythm. The best way to catch this and pinpoint a need is to read aloud. I read everything aloud or have it read to me.

Revised lines: Effie grabbed his coat sleeve. “Is it safe?”
“Yes, they’ve gone for noonmeal.” He went over the edge and disappeared. She heard a thud and this his voice. “Hand me the goat.

Emote, Not You, But Your Character

Finished Chapter 5; 10,335 word count

Writing tip: I editing this chapter I had to tackle pacing. In two places I hurried: the intro and the concluding paragraphs. In the opening, I went back and tapped into Effie's emotions to satisfy the reader's need to identify with what is going on. And lo and behold, the problem at the end was also skimming over my main character's reaction her plight. Remember emotion!

Okay, all right, alright

Finished Chapter 2; 4,121 word count

Writing Tip: Which word is correct for your story? Okay? All right? Alright?
I have no idea when people started saying okay. I could look it up, but never have because I use it in contemporary and not in historical. My fantasies tend to take place in a pre-industrial society, so I don't use okay in my fantasy character's speech.
There are dictionaries that tell you when a word began to pop up in a culture. So if you are writing a historical, check to see if words (not just okay) were being used back in the time which is part of the setting of your story..

Alright is colloquial and is okay for use in informal speech because we speak with less formality in most situations. The visual alright cues the reader of the relaxed nature of the interchange.

I can't bring myself to use alright, even in speech. Just fussy, I guess.

All right should be used at all times in narrative. (That's the bit between the bits of dialogue.)

Now how do you feel about the distinctions between the three words? Are you okay with this? Does it seem all right? "Alright, I guess you're good to go."

The $365 Writing Tip

finished editing Chapter One of Dragons of the Watch. Plowing into Ch 2

Writing Tip: Some time ago, I went to a writers conference. It was a good writing conference, but honestly only one thing stood out as something new and startling in the realm of improving my craft. So I call this tip my $365 writing tip. That was the price of the conference.

We were going through a critique, and the instructor noticed a grammar error on one of the submissions. The sentence was something like this:

She ran through the underbrush avoiding the thickest tangle of vines that would trip her.

That sentence needs a comma. Where? Look for the first -ing word.

avoiding

What does the phrase beginning with avoiding modify? As it stands, avoiding modifies underbrush. Now here comes the $365 writing tip. I hope you have two thumbs, because you need them. Taking your thumbs and placing the left thumb before underbrush and the right thumb after avoiding, read what is in between. Between your two tumbs is "underbrush avoiding." Does it make sense? No. So you have to put a comma there. The comma signals the reader to apply this modifying phrase to a noun further back in the sentence, usually the subject. The sentence makes sense if "She" is the one "avoiding."

New sentence:

She saw him struggle to hold on with the rope slipping through his hands.

One thumb in front of rope and the other behind slipping.

rope slipping

Does the author really mean to say the rope is slipping through his hands? Yes! no comma!
If the words are meant to go together then don't separate them with a comma.

He ran into the station hoping to find one more person to help rescue the boy.

Thumbs in place?
Is the station hoping, or the subject "He" hoping? Building and hoping don't go together so separate them with a comma.

Several years later this thumb trick is the only thing I remember clearly about what I learned. I don't often forget the comma when it is needed, and I rarely put it in when the comma is not needed. I still think the writing tip was overpriced.

Now What?

When you are first writing to get published, the answer to this question is to send the manuscript off to likely publishers, then dive into your next project.

Fortunately, my next projects are lined up for me. I am doing an edit on Two Tickets to the Christmas Ball which is due to come out Oct. 10th. I suppose I should write about this process. There are many times when writing tips should come up naturally.

Realism

Finished 51, started 52; 89,825 word count



Writing Tip: Remember these characters are not real people! I'm writing the battle scene and it is so very, very hard. Why? Because I don't want anyone to get hurt.

Rewriting for imagery

Finished Ch. 50; 88,423 word count

Writing Tip: Evolution of a sentence:

The dark night whispered with chilly breezes.
Chilly breezes whispered in the dark night.
Chilly breezes whispered among the nearby bushes.
Chilly breezes whispered among huddled bushes.