Writing Tip:
Word choice is so important. A few changes make a world of difference.
The setting sun reflected off the smooth surface, making the water look pink.
"making . . . look" just doesn't have any ambiance connected with it.
The setting sun reflected off the smooth surface, tingeing the water an unreasonable pink.
By changing making to tingeing, I also got rid of the look. It also reminded me that Bealomondore is an artist. He thinks more poetically than another might.
I played with an adjective for pink. Unbelievable? Salmon? Impossible? Sunset? Brilliant? I finally settled on unreasonable, but I wouldn't doubt that my crit partners may make me change it.
PS This comment is being inserted after the original post. The crit partners approved of unreasonable pink.
Mrs. Paul is a fantasy author and grandma. 
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Hi!
ReplyDeleteI just discovered your blog and it looks awesome!
Thanks for posting your adventures with writing on here. I look forward to reading more.
You seem to cut out the same words I do: "that" and "like" sometimes just don't cut it.
I like the change using "unreasonable." It also speaks a lot into Belomondore's character.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great tip. One of my favorite writing quotes is related: "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug." -- Mark Twain
Great quote, Mangy!
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