Writing Tip: Sometimes "the" is not needed.
I'm not really done for today so I am not going to list chapter and word count. But a reader note brought my attention to this passage, and I saw another edit. In the end, my editor has to take the manuscript away from me, or I would tweak forever.
In this sentence:
Tipper gasped as the pain shot from her foot, up her shin, and beyond her knee.
we can take out the "the."
And have:
Tipper gasped as pain shot from her foot, up her shin, and beyond her knee.
I like the second version a lot better.
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Mrs. Paul is a fantasy author and grandma. 
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I like it better, too. It seems much more... erm, seamless.
ReplyDeleteI think the second one is better too. The words just "flow".
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing what a difference one word can make.
ReplyDeleteWord Verification: amulatte = the coffee you wear around your neck like an amulette?
Especially if 'the' begins a sentance
ReplyDeleteThe cold made her shiver
vs
Cold made her shiver.