Writer's Tip: So often you hear that good writing is rewriting. I do it as I go. Some people plow through and do their rewrites either in great chunks or starting at the very beginning of a completed first draft.
Today, one, too long, horribly too long sentence needs work:
She held Rayn's limp form against her shoulder, stepped into the shallow water, and followed, her long skirt making each stride difficult.
She held Rayn’s limp form against her shoulder and stepped into the shallow water to follow. Her long skirt made each stride difficult.
Okay, that's better, but the reader isn't so immersed in the story that he is struggling with her.
She clutched Rayn’s limp form against her shoulder. She had to follow. Stepping into the shallow water, she kept her eye on Bealomondore's body. She had to reach him in time.
Her long skirt clung to her legs, constraining her stride, tripping her with every other step. Anger brought tears to her eyes. But the fury gave her the strength to forge on.
He needed help. She would get there.
Mrs. Paul is a fantasy author and grandma. 
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you are so making me want to read the book. =)
ReplyDeletereally good writing
I edit as I go, sort of. I often notice when I'm rewriting that the sentences are either too long or too clunky. So I usually end up adding or taking away just as often as actually pushing the story forward...
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