Getting rid of "wases"

Polished Ch. 18; 38,570 word count; Yeah! passed 200th page in the manuscript.

Writing Tip: You don't have to get rid of all wases, but too many wases on a page of your manuscript hurts the narrative. Wases can be used more in dialogue, because that's the way people talk. If you have wases in your narrative and your dialogue, your reader can become over-wased quickly. And it is so hard to get rid of them. (If it is hard to get rid of them, and your rearranged sentence is twisted beyond comprehension, just leave the was in.)

The square of cloth he wanted to use was in the breast pocket of his jacket, which hung on the back of a chair clear across the kitchen.

To fix, pick a different subject and give him something to do with the original subject.
Original subject: square
Original verb: was
Revised subject: he
Revised verb: tucked

He’d tucked the square of cloth he wanted to use in the breast pocket of his jacket, which hung on the back of a chair clear across the kitchen.

Checking Facts

finished ch 18; 35,545 word count



Writing Tip: In today's chapter, one of the characters fell on a sharp object. I had the poor thing suffering from a severed artery. After some consideration, I realized that wouldn't do. She'd bleed out before I could get her help. And severed is a pretty strong word, implying completely cut through. So I deleted and changed it to nicked an artery. Still very bloody, but fixable with what the other character had at his disposal.
Think through the consequences of injuries and make the scenario from start to finish plausible.

Hurrray!

Finished chapter 17; 33,391 word count
Writers Tip: Celebrate! Writing can be lonesome, discouraging, frustrating, and non-profitable, to name just a few of the negatives that authors put up with. It is important to celebrate, enjoy each turn of phrase that is particularly appropos. Celebrate the end of a chapter. Some days you may have to celebrate the end of a paragraph. Celebrate when you character displays amazing insight, fortitude, intelliect, or discernment. Celebrate rejection letters that are from a real person, not just a copied check list that indicates your work does not fit their current needs.

Today I am celebrating being one-third done. I passed the 33,333 word in chapter 17.

Hurray!

Loooooooong sentences!

Finished CH. 16; 31,375 word count



Writing Tip: I have a rule of thumb. If a sentence spills over to three lines of manuscript, it is too long. (I use Courier New because I can read it comfortably. For those who use Times New Roman, which is all scrunched up, you would have to make that all of two lines.)
From today's chapter:

Bealomondore and Efficinderpart poured over the journals the next morning, while they waited for Laddin to come back with news of a house that might supply their daggart-making needs.

The fix is almost too simple and requires one less word a period and a capital, not at all arduous labor:
Bealomondore and Efficinderpart poured over the journals the next morning. They waited for Laddin to come back with news of a house that might supply their daggart-making needs.

One of the things I'm fond of is having my manuscript read aloud so I can hear it. Those long sentences require readers with great lung power. Even when read silently those whopping long sentences tax the brain. Most readers read to relax. So be easy on those who pick up your book and chop the behemoth wordage into easy chunks to conquer.

Lay, Lie

Finished 15; 29,218 word count.

Writing Tip: I had this sentence in my chapter.
“If he’s going to go to sleep, he has to lay down. Make him lay down.”
There was a green squiggly under the first lay, so I changed it to lie, and my computer was happy. Then I came to the second lay and saw no green squiggly. What's the difference? I confess that lie and lay, set and sit challenge me. I finally got a hold of set and sit, but lie and lay? Oh brother, can I rewrite the sentence so I'm not using either?
Here are two sites that help with this kind of problem: English Plus
and Grammar Girl, Quick and Dirty Tips
English Plus says: Lay is something you do to something else. It is a transitive verb. My characters are going to make him lay down, so I guess that qualifie. Although I might argue that it is the verb make that is transitive. In the long run, I don't know for sure, and that makes me very grateful for copy editors who understand this sort of thing.

PS The consensus of my writing friends is that the second lay should be lie as well.

Repetition, good or bad?

finished 14, which was a really fun chapter; 27,346 word count

Writing Tip: In this chapter I had one character echo what was said by another character in a previous chapter. In the first, Bealomondore asked, "Do you know what I would like to do?" In this chapter, Efficinderpart asks the same exact question. Why does this work? These two characters are becoming friends. The repetition of the question establishes that they are beginning to feel a connection, they can banter, one recognizes the other will see this as an "inside" joke.

Repetition of a preposition idea:
The book landed flat and poofed the old flour up into the air.
Not good.

Repetition of a word:
He crouched as he approached the door. Effie also stooped as came to the door. Tak and Airon stayed at the back door and kept their eyes on the alley. Bealomondore manipulated the large dead bolt.

He crouched as he approached the door. Effie also stooped as she joined him. Tak and Airon stayed at the back and kept their eyes on the alley. Bealomondore manipulated the large dead bolt.

And . . .

One of the worst things that can happen to an author is the incomplete thought that often comes up in conversation with a new acquaintance and then gets interrupted.
Friend: Let me introduce you to Donita K. Paul, she goes to our church and writes dragon books.
Strange look comes over new acquaintance's face. Could be interpreted as "I've never seen her in church." or "Aren't dragons evil?" or "Where have I heard that name?" Just a strange look that makes the author feel unsettled.
Friend: My teen loves her books, and I confess, I read them too and sent them to my Dad to read."
NA: another strange look.
Friend: We have them in the church library. DragonSpell, DragonQuest, DragonThis, DragonThat.
NA: nods in recognition. "Yes, I've read some of those."
Now the subject changes. Topic of books drops like a lead balloon. Did NA like the books? Did she burn them as sacrilege in her barbeque pit? Maybe her teen saw her reading one and confiscated it. We can always hope for that one. Maybe her teen wrote a scathing review anonymously on Amazon.com. Let's not hope for that one.
My plea: If you tell an author you read her book, please say it with a smile so if your conversation gets interrupted, the author walks away with the hope that you liked her work.

It, that, them, and so on

finished Chapter 13; 24,810 word count

Writing Tip: Avoid indiscriminate pronouns. These are place holders for better nouns most of the time. This principle should be used in the same way that the admonition not to use -ly words is used. In other words, know the rule, follow it mostly, but don't go quackers trying to avoid them.
Example from today's writing:
“Every minor dragon collects information from the people around them. They collect songs as well as musical history. You might have heard the other verses, and they were buried in your brain. In that case, she dug them out. Or she recognized something she had learned somewhere else and remembered it.”

“Every minor dragon collects information from the people around them. Singing dragons collect songs as well as musical history. You might have heard the other verses, and the lyrics were buried in your brain. In that case, she dug the words out. Or she recognized something she had learned somewhere else and mined the information she had stored.”

A Promise

Finished 12 and started 13; 22,937 word count

Writing Tip: I dropped a figurative time bomb on the reader. Bealomondore is talking to Effie:

" . . . And Lady Peg gave me a word to describe liars who mean no harm.”
“Liars that mean no harm?”
“When you meet Lady Peg, you will understand. She has a very unique perception of the world.”

Now that is an intriguing comment, meant to arouse the reader's curiosity. But the conversation goes off on a tangent (an important tangent. Never wasite dialog on the inane.) Several pages later, the riddle is explained. The original tease was a promise to the reader. I, as the author, have made a non-verbal agreement to answer the questions that the teaser raised in the reader's mind. If I do not fulfil the promise, then I have broken something precious between author and reader. If this happens often, the reader will not be interested in the next book. She has learned that reading my work results in a multitude of minor irritations. Who wants to spend time with someone who constantly disappoints.

Typos

Finished 11; 21,153 word count

Writing Tip: My particular goof ups saw the light of day in today's writing. The thing with typos is that each writer has his/her own list of frequent foul-ups. Mine are our for out, and for an, and of for off or off for of. And you know spell checker doesn't catch that kind of error. But if you know your particular foibles, you are more likely to catch them on the re-read. And if you read a scene several days later, you are even more likely to see them.

Learning Opp

Check out his website: http://www.jamesscottbell.com/

Author of legal suspense and How-to books on the craft of writing. Jim is one of my favorite speakers. I have learned so much from his lectures. And now there is a chance for you to benefit from his teaching, too.

James Scott Bell will be doing a series of
webinars for Writer's Digest this month. The first is on structure:

http://www.writersdigestshop.com/product/wgf-build-solid-story-structure-webinar/r=wdjfbl062710%5BY0351%5D-%5Btweets%5Dersdigestshop.com/product/wgf-build-solid-story-structure-webinar/r=wdjfbl062710%5BY0351%5D-%5Btweets%5D

Ellipsis or Emdash

finished chapter 10; 19,279 word count

Writing tip: Ellipsis are those three little periods that take he place of words. To make them space out when you are using word, you must type space period space period space period, or the dots scrunch up when you hit the space bar after the last period. I don't like mine scrunched up.
Emdash is a dash that is as wide as the letter m. Endash is the one that is as wide as the letter n.
Endashes are also called hyphens. And Emdash is used in dialogue when the person speaking is cut off. And abrupt ending in other words.
Ellipsis are used when the person's speech trails off.
I didn't use any emdashes today, but I did use ellipses.

Examples:


“Is she . . .?’

She nodded. “Did you know they have . . .accidents?”

Stuck!

Finally finished Ch 9; 17,160 word count

Writing Tip: I don't really believe in writer's block. I get stuck, but I tend to think it is because of character flaws. Not the characters in my book, but flaws in me. Procrastination, laziness, distractibility, aversion to work. Anyway, when I do find myself wasting time and not "getting on with it," I close my eyes and watch the scene in my mind as if it were a movie. That usually gets me revved up again.

Just Talking

Finished Chapter 9; 16,140 word count

Writing Tip: In Donald Maass's book Fire in Fiction, he talks abou clean, precise dialog that is stripped of attributes and action tags. Sometimes this is a very effective way to deliver conversation between two characters.
Example from Dragons of the Watch:

Bealomondore shook his head, agreeing.
“How old are they?” asked Effie. “Do you know?”
“They are all six, every last one of them.”
“Six?”
“Six.”
“So someone has been feeding them for six years.”
“No.”
“No?”
“I have found documents in the library, written by hand, probably by Old One. Rumbard City is under some kind of wizardry.