Saturday, July 31, 2010

Getting rid of "wases"

Polished Ch. 18; 38,570 word count; Yeah! passed 200th page in the manuscript.

Writing Tip: You don't have to get rid of all wases, but too many wases on a page of your manuscript hurts the narrative. Wases can be used more in dialogue, because that's the way people talk. If you have wases in your narrative and your dialogue, your reader can become over-wased quickly. And it is so hard to get rid of them. (If it is hard to get rid of them, and your rearranged sentence is twisted beyond comprehension, just leave the was in.)

The square of cloth he wanted to use was in the breast pocket of his jacket, which hung on the back of a chair clear across the kitchen.

To fix, pick a different subject and give him something to do with the original subject.
Original subject: square
Original verb: was
Revised subject: he
Revised verb: tucked

He’d tucked the square of cloth he wanted to use in the breast pocket of his jacket, which hung on the back of a chair clear across the kitchen.

2 comments:

  1. Take 1-He knew, across the kitchen,the jacket upon the back of the chair, held the square of cloth he wished to use within it's pocket.
    Take 2- He knew the jacket, across the kitchen, held the square of cloth he wished to use within it's pocket.
    Take 3- He'd left his jacket upon the back of a chair across the kitchen. He knew it's breast pocket, held the square of cloth he wished to use.
    -No matter how hard I tried, I could not come up with something I liked. This sentence was annoying. I wanted to cut out some of the information that may not have been necessary, but it wasn't my story to tell. I couldn't decide what wasn't important. lol. Though I want to know what he wished to use the square of cloth for now.

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